Learning to adapt in order to be happy.

I am witnessing so many unhappy and bitter people around me at the moment, most of them living much easier lives than I am. One of the reasons that I believe that I feel happy with my simple life, despite living on very little money and having to work hard, is because I find it relatively easy to adapt.  I don’t cling on to my past or get upset about change.  In fact I feel like I have had about 5 different lives, and in some of them I have been unhappy but had more money than I have known what to do with, and in other lives I have been happy but as poor as a church mouse. I don’t harp back to any of them, except to learn from them.

Life is constantly changing and we have no control over that. We can’t stop change even if we want to. Adaptability is about how we respond to that change. Change is not always a bad thing and can often be really positive.  However, it often is not easy to cope with change and it might mean that we have to feel very uncomfortable for a while as we step outside of our comfort zone.

I think that life is changing faster at the moment than it has in my past. Recognising that the world is changing is an important first step to adapting. Living in my own little bubble, as I do, I sometimes do find it hard to keep up.  Technology is now used for everything.  We didn’t have computers when I was at school, and I didn’t learn to use one until I was over thirty. Recently I have had to learn the basics to be able to buy insurance, park my car, buy a train ticket, or sort out my council tax. These are all everyday things that I would have done differently in the past.  I hear people moaning about it, but that won’t change anything.  We have to learn to adapt and keep up with the world evolving.  Yes, there are some bad things about technology as I believe it de-skills and isolates us.  We no longer need to interact with people, personally.  On the other hand it connects us with new people around the world, is convenient, and productive.  I would not like to go back to the days when I would have to take all morning to wash the clothes in the dolly tub, or would have to find my way to a destination using a map instead of my Sat Nav.

Globalism is one of the biggest changes that I have seen recently.  We have international markets and the world seems to be getting smaller and following the same rules and  trajectory. When I go abroad a lot of the shops and restaurants are the same as over here. I remember as a child having a big poster on my bedroom wall and I collected stickers from a magazine each week with food and clothing of the different countries and I had to stick them on the map.  Many of those differences have now gone.  It feels like we are no longer allowed to be proud of our individual country and it’s traditions. The days of the national anthem being played at the theatre or as the television closed down have long gone.  I rarely see people opening doors and helping  older people or mother’s with push chairs, as the world seems to have got more selfish.  I might not like some of these changes but I have to accept them.  It is what is happening.

The population is changing and society has become more ‘woke’.  This can be frightening for some one who has only been used to a couple of pronouns and does not want to offend. I spent half of  my life fighting for the right to have equal opportunities to men, but now see those rights being eroded.  I have always admired ‘difference’ as I have been classed as ‘different’ myself, and have learned to be proud of it.  Adapting for me is about finding things in common and learning from each other.  Although the demographics of our country are changing, my optimism means that I hope that we can all learn to adapt to over come the barriers that divide us.  I actually think that those in power, and the media, ‘stoke’ the flames of that difference as it suits them for us to be divided.  Individually, in order to adapt and learn, I work on acceptance by getting to know people, and learning to understand difference and not judging.

During the time that I have been an adult there have been so many changes, especially in the last 30 years.   These include changes in cultural norms, expectations in life, health care, legislation around climate change, opportunities for women and people with disabilities, different social movements constantly changing policy, the ‘family’, leisure, financial freedoms and then financial pressures, the weather…. the list is everlasting but it is important that we keep up and adapt, or fight the changes that we disagree with. We can’t harp back to the ‘good old days’ as they were not always as good as nostalgia would have us remember.

By living my simple life a lot of these changes do not impact on me in my every day life, but do catch up with me sometimes.  I have learned that how we react to things is more important than the change, or the event.  By adapting, I believe I have learned to thrive whilst many other people are surviving.

Which characteristics help me to adapt?

1. I have accepted and embraced change rather than trying to fight it.  Sometimes I even look forward to it. An example is when fuel prices were high last year I made it a challenge (and almost a game) to keep my bills low.  I accepted that energy was expensive and I found creative ways to keep warm for free. I made use of free community resources.  I also practiced self care to help me cope with emotions and hardships so that I did not feel deprived.
2. I constantly think outside of the box when problem solving and I am creative.  I brain storm, find  solutions, and implement them.  I don’t keep on doing the same thing that I have always done as it will not give the same results if other things have changed.
3. I like to keep my options open and do not close my mind to change. Change is going to happen any way.  I hear people saying that we should not have to live like this.  Things may not be ideal but we are the only one that can change our circumstances.  No body is coming to save us.
4. I let go of my ego.  My ego was totally smashed when I had a breakdown, but that has been a good thing.  It allowed me to step out of myself.  I tell every one that I am a nicer person now as everything is not centred around me,  or me trying to keep up appearances, and being in competition with other people. I am happy being my authentic self.
5. I like to jump out of my comfort zone.  The only way we can grow as people is to step out of our comfort zone.  If we stay safe in our little bubble of what feels comfortable, our lives will stay in the same place.  If every one else is moving forward that will mean that we will be left behind.
6. I am constantly learning new skills and new information.  This helps me to adapt to different situations, be one step ahead of change, and helps me understand the changes that are happening.
7. I practice mindfulness and try to live in the moment whilst planning for the future.  It is really important that we adapt emotionally as well as physically and mentally.  I always try to have a positive attitude, learn from my mistakes, and love improving my knowledge and skills.  I invest in myself eg. I did the sustainability retreat last year.  I also try to support those around me to help them know about changes or cope with change, and to form a community.  Working on my behaviour and habits is another way I adapt, even if it is just in little steps, as I know that if I stay within my comfort zone that I will not be prepared for when change happens.  How do you cope with all these changes and adapt?