I have been a bit down recently, and am trying to shake myself out of it. I don’t know if it is just my age, and my grandparent’s felt this way in the 1960s and 70s, but we seem to be going through some big changes in the world. There is even talk of it being like the end of an era, like when the Roman Empire finished. There appears to be a big agenda shared around the world, and a lot of these changes do not feel like they are happening in the best interests of most people, except for maybe the rich or elite.
Prices are constantly rising, the weather is impacting on food supply, lots of people are homeless, loads of people are ill, people are exhausted, politicians are not representing the needs of their constituencies, and many people are having to chose between heat or eat in the winter months. The government are even telling us to stock up on food and survival items, and YouTube channels are telling us that some thing big is about to happen. We are nearer to a war than we have been for a long time, and a lot of us don’t want it or even believe in the reasons why this is all happening, but feel we have little control.
Quite frankly it is frightening. I am not frightened for me as I have been lucky and lived a good, long life. I am frightened for my children and my grandson who have probably lived an easier, softer life than we had in the ‘good old days’ (as they are often described). I am worried about how they will cope if big changes occur, especially around living standards, as their expectations of life are much higher than mine were at their age. There is a quote that says that nostalgia rubs the rough edges off reality when remembering. When we think back to the real details of life in the past there were lots of things that were not that great.
June Slater on YouTube made me laugh today as she reminded me of the punishments that we used to get at school, for instance getting solid. black board dusters thrown at us, or being ridiculed if we didn’t understand, we were talking, or not paying attention. Teachers would not get away with it now. In my Face Book group this week we were also discussing our living conditions when we were young. We often only had one fire heating the whole house, and we got mottled legs from sitting too close, we had to go to outside toilets in the freezing cold when scared of the spiders, we could chip the ice off the inside of the single pane windows, and we only had a few clothes that were often hand made, or hand me downs. On the flip side most people lived like this and so we knew no different, there was a sense of community, and people helped each other. We had more freedom than children do not have today, and could play out unsupervised for hours until it got dark. Most of our parents knew how to make a meal with few ingredients as leaflets and school taught them to do this during and after the second world war. Life didn’t feel bad as everyone around us was living in the same way. We found our joy from the little things like find a wild plum tree and gran cooking a crumble for tea as a treat. We only usually got pudding on a Sunday. We didn’t have themed birthday cakes in those days like the one that I made for my grandson. We were happy if we got a plain sponge with jam and a candle in it.
June reminded me that although all these things were hardships, at the time they didn’t feel like them. We can laugh at them now, and we survived, and often thrived. The hardships made us resilient and fight for what we wanted. We were more grateful for the small things, and didn’t try to keep up with the Jones as we could not borrow money that we had not earned, and the Jones were living the same way as we were. If someone was richer in the street they would share their luxury. I remember 20 odd of us piling into a house down the street to watch Princess Anne’s wedding in colour as only one person every one knew had a colour telly. Every one had brought simple snacks to share. My grandad had made some salted crisps and pinched some of my Gran’s potatoes which she was not happy about. Luckily, we did not have social media to show us anything different or make us feel jealous by showing us unreal snapshots of other people’s lives. Our children have grown up differently. Life has been made to feel like a competition and many have got into debt buying luxuries that they can not really afford. It is harder losing something that you have had rather than it is living without something you have never experienced. I don’t miss having a horse as I have never had one, although I would love to learn to ride.
So, how do we keep our spirits up? June says to watch comedy and laugh. My grandson makes me laugh. He finds fun in every thing. I also try to be grateful and making the most of every day and my time with family, now. It is so hard when the sun rarely shines, you don’t know if it is wise to make plans, and the future seems uncertain. However, the good thing about social media is that things can’t remain secret any more as information is shared around the world. Online communities are developing across the world and people are getting to know each other and offer advice. People are starting to see patterns. Stocking up on food and learning skills like foraging is how I try to keep my spirits up. If I feel in control of something and feel like I have a plan, the world feels less scary. How are you coping with all the uncertainty in the world at the moment? Are you still smiling and ignoring it all and making the best of now, or are you spending your time constantly worried? I always tell people that worry is a waste of energy and you experience the thing that you are dreading multiple times when you worry? It is hard not to worry sometimes, though. I am trying to push things to the back of my head and enjoy now, but still have my plan, be aware and awake, and am learning new skills, just in case. We have got this.
I do feel some sympathy for many who are feeling rather overwhelmed – the past few years have been a perfect storm of major issues – BUT. I do feel that much of the angst and stress that people claim to be under at the moment is fueled by the regular media, social media, and a form of social contagion that both have helped to cultivate.
Yes, many are under greater financial strain, many are now living with actual war on their doorstep and certainly some are facing a tougher future but is this true of the vast majority? Here in Canada we are fed a constant stream of news from the regular media about the cost of living, about mental health issues that supposedly everyone is suffering from and how everyone is feeling hopeless. Yet, I still work pt – in the downtown core and restaurants and coffee shops are full – people are going on vacation, sporting and entertainment events are sold out (even at horrendous cost per seat), everyone seems to have the latest cellphone and roads are clogged with cars. Yes, grocery costs are higher and some are truly struggling but I would guess that it isn’t quite as dire as some would suggest. There was a big report just about a week ago stating how 1 in 4 Canadians lived in poverty – and I found myself questioning this. All it took was a bit of research and I found one particular vlogger who explained quite concisely how they reached this conclusion. Well – the criteria was laughable – everyone I know would probably be “living in poverty” according to the survey used (and believe me, none of my friends or family are anywhere near to living in poverty)! Criteria changes from country to country and just because you can’t run out and buy a “want” rather than a “need” the instant you want something should not mean that you fall into the “experiencing poverty” group. I work with someone from Mexico and as she puts it – “I know poverty – and I don’t know any Canadians who would qualify other than the homeless.”
I wish that younger people today showed more backbone (and yes, I am an old lady) – but seriously, the whining is unbelievable. We may not like our current govt. very much but – all three levels did a good job during Covid – keeping people solvent and safe. Our crime stats have risen – but we are still one of the safest cities in the world for our size. Yes, homelessness is an issue and the cost of housing is a major concern – as with most western countries but it is something that all levels of govt. are trying to address. Food costs have risen but it’s more that pre Covid costs were so low compared to many countries that we are now more in line with most countries percentage spent on food. It is also that we resent having to pay more for necessities rather than for luxuries. In the greater scheme of things we may have some cause for complaint but in comparison to most we really need to “suck it up” a bit more.
And no – I am not one of those rich, BMW driving owners of a million dollar plus home. I am a single, senior female who never earned a huge salary, who was laid off (along with a number of other over 55’s) before I had planned to retire and I have to work pt to supplement my pensions and to be able to continue to pay off debt. Like most my age, I have some health issues but I manage, I work, I volunteer, I take courses and I enjoy my friends and family. I like to entertain and I have access to a lot of green space (but no car – I walk or take public transit). So, if I can put things in perspective and find some fun in life – then I think others who are younger, fitter and far wealthier than me might want to dial back the drama!
Sorry for being so long winded but this did hit a nerve.
I totally agree with you about the media fear mongering, as they did during Covid. I see that my blog has hit a nerve, and I wonder why when your experiences are obviously not the same as every one else. Personally, I feel more empathy for the younger generation and see first hand the hardships that they are going through. You are the same generation as myself and we have learned to be resilient, had hardship, been taught skills, and then our lives improved as the standard of living improved. You also live in a city and life is very different over here in rural areas. Some basic items on the shelves have gone up 300%, rents take more than half a wage (if you can find housing), a nursery costs nearly the same a week as a person can earn, and due to years of prosperity many young people have been encouraged to get into debt and expect a different life style. They know no different. Unlike us, they didn’t have the experience to know any better. Our transport system is broken (except in big cities like London) and some villages have no public transport or only a bus every couple of hours. Due to years of prosperity young people have been encouraged to get into debt, live beyond their means and continue to do so. They don’t have the experiences that we do to help them to know any better. I agree that the scale of poverty does seem ridiculous eg having a mobile, but then very little can be done without one now adays. Everything is digital. Many need a car to get to work as public transport is none existent or unreliable. A lot of children at the school my daughter teaches at only get the meals that they are provided with there, and our pubs, shops and cafes are closing down daily. The war is also on our doorstep, our government are getting more involved and sending billions to a country when we can’t get a doctor’s appointment or see a dentist here. Our young people are also fearful about conscription, which at our age we do not have to worry about. I don’t see the drama coming from the young people as most still have their head in the sand, but some of us older people over here who are watching world events, and are waking up to what is happening, are worried for our children. I am so pleased for you that you are enjoying a good life despite having to retire and still work. You sound very resourceful and happy to live a simple life, as am I. Life is not the same for everyone, though, and I am probably triggered by your reply, and so you received a long one back, lol. I am grateful for your comments, though, as that is how we all learn from each other. Take care
I don’t buy newspapers or watch the news on telly. I suggested to my Mum not to watch the 10pm news before she went to bed as has been her routine for donkeys years, she would watch it and then find it difficult to get to sleep through worrying about what she had just seen, it’s all so negative. She is going to bed after watching half an hour of negativity which can’t be good. I have the radio on all day pretty much until teatime so I keep up to date with what’s happening that way without being overwhelmed by it. I am trying to be more mindful (still work in progress lol), living in the present moment and not stressing on what MIGHT happen in the future. I am making effort to persue my hobbies (circuit training twice a week and gardening/allotment) which helps a lot with my physical and emotional health.
Well done. Yes I don’t read newspapers or watch telly, either, but news does creep onto my social media sometimes. It is hard to avoid it. Thanks for sharing
You make very valid points and yes, I agree, it is tougher for the younger generation, especially since they don’t seem to have the skills or resilience that we do – and not their fault since they have been raised by the older generation.
Let me clarify a bit – I too am at the mercy or rising rents, as stated, I must continue to work PT in order to cover costs – but I have always had to wait and to save up for major purchases and I think that is the big difference. I’ve never “expected” to have a “want” immediately – “needs” always had to be covered first.
Of course, there are many who are suffering and yes, rural areas do not have the same resources as the cities – a good point. But I think my slightly jaded outlook comes from the media interviewing people complaining about the cost of food when they are driving giant SUV’s (I use public transit) while they have a cart full of junk food – people who own homes now worth well over a million dollars complaining about getting a large water bill (today’s story – the water pipes are working fine but the new meters somehow haven’t been working properly so they never received their 3 x per year bill). Well, everyone knew something was amiss but only some bothered to contact the city and keep the money aside. This morning people are complaining because they spent the money on other things, knowing that eventually this bill would arrive. The city is working with them, doesn’t expect the full payment immediately and isn’t cutting off anyone’s water – but – still, the moaning is ridiculous. Why am I supposed to feel sorry for these foolish people?
I also volunteer and see the truly needy who have to live on the street because of addiction, mental illness or because they are here as refugees – I reserve a lot of my sympathy for people in those dire straights. I also volunteer to help newcomers and international students improve their conversational English – and again, what many of them have gone through and how they live here while furthering their studies and working menial jobs (even though they were professionals in their home countries) would really open a lot of eyes! These include people escaping religious and political persecution and now, many Ukrainian refugees. The attitude, work ethic and gratefulness of these people is truly heartwarming. I think that knowing what many of them have endured makes me more than a bit cynical when I have to listen to some of the other complaints.
I also believe that the never ending negativity of the news and social media is largely responsible for a lot of the feelings of hopelessness – if they hadn’t gone on and on about mental health deterioration after COVID then I’d be willing to bet that half the current cases wouldn’t exist. If all that people hear is the negative then of course it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. I don’t mean that people shouldn’t stay informed nor that some aren’t truly in need of help – but there comes a point when all the doom scrolling needs to stop and people need to get on with things and perhaps even show a bit of gratitude for what they do have – especially compared to many in this world. Thank you and thank you for your blog – you are inspiring.
You make some very valid points and I totally agree that I get rattled some times by people saying that they are broke and then they go and spend a fortune on a take away. It is a pity that money management isn’t taught in schools rather than algebra (I have never used algebra in my adult life!). I think the main stream media has a lot to answer for over the last 4 years, and social media generally. It gives unrealistic expectations. Thanks for commenting again.
I’m an in-between age where I remember a childhood like the one you described, but I also remember as a young adult approaching the mid 90’s and early 2000’s a kind of economic golden era. I remember being able to afford several weekends jaunts away in Europe a year, and a week or two away for a longer holiday somewhere nice at least once a year in my mid to late 20’s. I remember what it was like to have enough money to socialise, for bills and food to be much more affordable, and then I watched as that became less so, until it became nothing.
I look around my local area and town and see the decline in upkeep and infrastructure, and even in keeping the area clean. There is rubbish and potholes everywhere.
Now I watch my young adult children having only really known economic decline from their teens to 20’s. They’ve never known the childhood poverty I came from, but they’ve also never had those delicious years of fun & frivolities that came with better economic conditions, the social lives we had going out and enjoying ourselves because we could afford to every weekend.
I’ve been lucky in that I’ve been able to insulate my children to a degree due to a reasonably well paid job, and they all currently live with me (my eldest 28 yrs moved back home 2 weeks ago). However I have zero savings, and a load of debt from bailing them out (including a failed attempt at keeping my son independent in his own flat, not helped by a girlfriend who didn’t want to work, and when she did pick up a job it was part time – they have no children, so he sank undernearth a cost of living crisis whilst living in a private rent), and I’m now in absolutely no position to help other than give them a roof over their heads.
But I came from nothing and survived. Like yourself, I worry more for my children. The future is not looking too great for the younger generations.
Let’s hope we are at the bottom of the cycle and on our way up again.
Luckily my children were just a bit older. It is hard not to worry about our children and grand children. Honestly, I think we have a lot further to get to the bottom of the curve, but we shall see. Thanks for sharing
Thank you for this post Toni – I agree with every concern that you yourself appear to have about the future for our children and grandchildren. It is indeed very scary and rising anxiety levels is a natural response which can on occasion be overwhelming. Approximately 5-6 yrs ago, I realised that the MSM (Main Stream Media – all TV, Radio, Newspapers etc.) are constantly lying to us about certain topics, or at best ‘twisting the truth’. Therefore I do not watch TV at all, gathering all my information and updates on global politics from trusted verified sources on alternative media.
Here I have a few points which I find helpful when I am feeling overwhelmed by events.
1. Stop watching and listening to MSM news.
2. Find others who share your concerns to talk to.
3. Question everything you are told, sometimes things are not as bad as the ‘news’ makes out.
4. Plan time with friends and family – those you love.
5. Remember that you are among the 99% who are thoughtful, kind and have no problem with the rest of humanity. When ‘push comes to shove’ we are the majority.
6. History shows that the Tyrants never win in the end, they will eventually be ousted. (I get the feeling we are at the end of Globalism, but they are not going down without a fight).
7. If you have hobbies, or alternative entertainment, turn to this in times of stress as a distraction (Your blog posts are most definitely helping me).
8. Remember that we are all doing the best we can to prepare ourselves for an unknown future, you are not alone
9. If you are a person of faith – take time to turn to your faith.
10. If not a person of faith, then all the items you mentioned in previous posts such as nature, self awareness etc. will help.
I get the feeling you are probably doing most of the above already. LOL
Sorry, I do not mean to bore you to bits, but the worry and concerns are very real, I feel them every day. We surely do have a tricky time ahead, but we can stick together and get through I am certain.
Take care dear Toni :)
Thank you for taking the time to write all that. I think that the only one that I don’t really do is talk to like minded people. I don’t know any one else that is awake. Friends and family think that I am bonkers, lol. Thanks for your message also. I was glad of your comments on this post. It is nice to know that I am not the only one feeling like this. Take care x
Thank you Toni for your reply :)
The world is not good at the moment but I cannot do much about it, I read the paper but do not listen to the news. I help out where I can but never to big charities, personal choice. The only debt I have had is the house and an odd car, grew up in a different age, I will continue to live my quiet life traveling as much as possible for as long as possible.
That sounds like a good plan. The world is definitely a scary place at the moment. Thanks for sharing and good luck
I dont think you are bonkers Toni, Im probably not as aware as you because although ( as you know) Im a prepared/preparing type of person , I also, try tolive in my own little bubble , I rarely watch TV hardly ever the news , I-have plans and ways of dealing with what may come , but I try very hard to not let the worry of it get to me by being organised and knowing I have done all I can( which is getting harder as we get older & have health issues) but its all we can do, avoid the media circus and be prepared xxx
Absolutely. I like to watch the world news from a variety of sources as it usually gives me a heads up as to what will happen over here later