May 21, 2024

Why I take being frugal to the extreme

I have been accused recently of being too extreme and fanatical about my frugal habits.  Why do people think that they can comment about my life when it is not impacting on theirs? I am extremely frugal for a reason and it isn’t a chore or a ‘sack cloth and ashes’ thing,  it is a number of habits that have become an integral part of me. It allows me to live my life the way that I want.  I have not always been as frugal, though I have always found ways to save money.  When I worked I could not have done half of the frugal  things that I do now  as I would not have had time. My habits are not perfect every day, and I don’t think any less of any one that choses not to do all the things that I do.  I just write about them to share ideas and to help anyone that is struggling. I know that a lot of people now are frugal as they do not have a choice.  The cost of living continues to rise faster than wages. I also feel like I don’t have a choice if I want to continue living stress free and content.  This is how being a ‘frugal fanatic’ has benefitted me.

  1. It allows me to keep out of the rat race and avoid working for a living.  My income is a lot less than the state pension, or that of some one on benefits. I live on a small private pension, plus  savings that I built up before I retired.   I am not lazy and work very hard every day at being frugal. In the past I was a single parent, studied, and often worked 70 hours every other week, and 40 the following week. Any spare time was spent with my children and giving them experiences.  I virtually had no life of my own. I was exhausted by the time I gave up work and I can not see myself ever wanting to work again. I feel like I have done my bit. I always thought that I would be able to retire at 60 and get my state pension, but then the government changed the goal posts and said I had to work until I was 67.  Not on your nelly!  I would not have lasted in the job I was in.  Being frugal and living on less than half of my wage gave me the choice to leave. I walked away having paid off my mortgage and debts, and built some savings.  I almost cartwheeled as I went through the gate for the last time.  It was such a relief.   That only happened because I am extremely frugal.
  2. It allows Mr S to only work 2 days a week.  Mr S has been in pain for a lot of years and often feels tired. He had worked full time.  Our frugal life style means that he does not have to contribute as much rent and so he can work less hours, which is better for his health.  He did not know what frugal meant when he first moved in, but soon realised the benefits.
  3. It allows me to thrive rather than survive.  By being frugal I can still afford treats, a break away, and have a reasonable standard of living, despite my low income.  This helps me feel like I am moving forward with my life rather than just existing and surviving.  Some times I panic and it feels like the bills are mounting up and I might not make it through the month, but that is an incentive to look for a way to get through.  This might be by bartering, or selling some unwanted item, or swapping my skills for something I need. It always means reviewing my spending, buying intentionally, and finding ways to have free fun.
  4. It gives me a challenge and a purpose in life.  Life can be boring when you are retired and when I first left work I felt a bit lost.  I had no purpose or reason to get up each day. Frugal habits and challenging myself was a motivation for me to do better and to save more so that I could have breaks away, or treat my grandson.  As the cost of living has increased, I have had to get better and better at it, constantly improve my skills, adapt, and think outside of the box to keep my head above water.
  5. It helps the environment.  This kind of happened by accident as I found new ways to save money but now I really like the fact that the way I live is good for the planet. Buying second hand, using my car and utilities less, growing my own food, and eating seasonally are just a few of the ways that my life style is good for the environment.
  6. It prevents waste. When I first started my frugal journey I wasted a lot.  I had clothes that I never wore in the wardrobe, I bought things that I already had in the cupboards, and I wasted lots of food in my fridge.  Now nothing gets wasted. I rarely put things in the bin as I recycle most things to use again, and either compost or eat all of our food.
  7. It has meant that I can have some nice holidays with my savings rather than wasting them on living and every day life until I get my state pension.  Last year I even managed to go on a sustainable living retreat and we have been abroad this year for the first time in years.
  8. It has meant that I could be there for those who have needed me.  Not having to work by being frugal has meant that I have been able to nurse and look after my mum and delay her having to go into a home before she died, nurse my ex husband before he died, and spend precious time supporting my brother before he died. I am able to help with baby sitting my grand son which cuts down on nursery fees for my daughter and means that I get to play a larger part in his life.  This has meant more to me than anything and so has been my biggest motivation.
  9. It means I can get up every day and do what ever I want and am not waiting until I am too old to have the time to do the things that I have dreamed about.  I have got so used to doing my own thing that I resent even having an appointment now!
  10. It gives me more time with my family.  I can travel and see my daughter more often, go and see my cousins, and keep contact with friends.  Most people that I know still work but as I am free every day and so I can work around their spare time it makes it is easier to meet up.
  11. It has given me luxuries that I never thought that I could afford again.  When I left work I thought that I would be living in poverty until I received my state pension.  Even though my income is classed as living in poverty, I have been able to save up for a car, enjoy lots of cheap breaks away, and more recently have been able to afford some organic food and an odd treat.
  12. It has saved my mental health.  I burned out when I worked, and so being frugal and not having to work has saved my mental health.  I worked in a sector that had lots of politics, back stabbing, stress, pressure and emotional exhaustion.  It was also physically dangerous.  My physical and mental health has been so much better.  This spurs me on to find ways to continue to live within my means so that I do not have to work.
  13. It allows me to be independent.  I don’t have to rely on anyone or the state, I don’t have to jump through hoops to get benefits, I don’t have to do as I am told or act as I am expected to act.  It gives me a bit of freedom from the system and helps me be  financially free.
  14. It improves my skills and knowledge and keeps my brain working. I have learned to forage, to grow food, to make meals with what I have, to live without all the luxuries that many take for granted but that I don’t value any more eg. having a TV. If the SHTF I am more ready than most.  Constantly studying and learning keeps my brain sharp.
  15.  I love the person that I have become.  I have learned to be patient and save up for things, I have learned to be grateful  for everything that I have, I have learned that life isn’t a competition and not to get jealous, I have learned to share,  I have learned to be strong and determined, and best of all I have learned that I am normal as there are other frugal people out there with the same values as me.  I have learned to be myself and not pretend to be anything different.

So if people make fun of you for being frugal, just smile.  You have the knowledge of knowing that you will be in more control of your life, and have more choices, even if you are not a frugal fanatic like me.  I think that I might get a badge made, and wear it with pride!

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44 Comments

  1. Clare Khalil May 21, 2024 at 9:23 am - Reply

    I have thoroughly enjoyed reading every word Toni! I agree with so much of what you have said!
    Why oh why are we not tackling the government on the age of pension. People work themselves into an early grave and get very little time to actually enjoy their life before illness and disability creep in.
    I’m delighted to have learned so much from your website 🕊️

    • ToniG May 22, 2024 at 10:00 am - Reply

      I have heard on the grape vine that they are putting them up to 75 despite people not living as long. Unfortunately I think that getting rid of national insurance is part of the plan so that pension will not be a right but a means tested benefit. Thanks for your kind words

  2. Lynda May 21, 2024 at 9:40 am - Reply

    Absolutely love this post, I was always stressed coming home from work, longer hours, bitchiness, peer pressure from grown adults, it was horrendous. Add to that the abuse from the general public (not all but the majority, DWP benefits) and I was coming home to open a bottle of wine before I even had my coat off. Early retirement saved my life, an inheritance allowed me to leave and never go back. I went no contact with certain family members and suddenly life was better. I save, reuse, absolutely loathe to throw good food away, doesn’t happen often. I do trips on a shoestring but not to the point of not enjoying them. My kids sometimes think I am a bit fanatical when I slice open another not quite empty tube or squish the soap bits together, I send them hints and tips but never know if they use them, maybe one day. Living this way means I get to be me, enjoy my life, wait patiently for my state pension because then I will be rich ;) I love your blog and FB page, I learn every day and if that makes us all fanatical, then so be it.

    • Melanie Warren May 21, 2024 at 2:09 pm - Reply

      What a wonderful blog Toni and everything is spot on. Just a shame more people don’t realise they have a choice and instead keep slaving away at a job they hate and which affects their mental and physical health. I also find it difficult to understand why someone would think it is okay to judge the life you lead. We are all different, unique individuals who can chose to live any kind of life we want, without judging others who may chose a different path. Your website and Facebook group and truly inspirational and the only one I am part of. Thank you Toni 😊

      • ToniG May 22, 2024 at 9:50 am - Reply

        Thanks for your kind words. It is a shame people get so wrapped up in material things and forget or don’t realise what is important. I think that more people are waking up, though

    • ToniG May 22, 2024 at 9:58 am - Reply

      Aww thanks for sharing. So glad that you managed to escape the rat race. Yes it is a balance with trips and I have to remember not to be too frugal. Thanks for your kind comments

  3. Julie Barton May 21, 2024 at 9:50 am - Reply

    Well said Toni, and I’m glad you like the badge idea you are our pride xx

    • ToniG May 22, 2024 at 9:55 am - Reply

      Now I just have to design it! Thanks for all your support x

  4. Natalie Edgar May 21, 2024 at 9:53 am - Reply

    Thank you Toni for a very interesting article, I have learnt a lot from the group frugal wise but have also learnt there’s kindness and empathy in the world that members show on a daily basis 😀 I’ve learnt I don’t need to justify who I am that there are others who think the same as me being frugal is something to be proud of it means your striving and not just surviving probably drowning like others trying to keep up with the rat race

    • ToniG May 22, 2024 at 9:55 am - Reply

      Absolutely. We have learned a secret that many more have not latched on to yet. I am glad that the group is teaching you that there is a lot of good in the world, though often it is hidden. Stand proud. You are thriving and not just surviving. Thanks for commenting

  5. Ali May 21, 2024 at 10:14 am - Reply

    Absolutely spot on! I agree with everything you’ve said. I was a teacher until I took early retirement due to being burnt out. I live alone on a teeny tiny teacher’s pension and still have a few savings left from saving half my salary. My quality of life has dramatically improved even though I am technically living below the poverty line. I don’t have grandchildren yet (soon I hope!) but I will be able help out with childcare and be an active grandparent. That’s priceless to me :-)

    • ToniG May 22, 2024 at 9:53 am - Reply

      It is priceless and I think benefits the grand child as well. I am glad that you have been able to escape the rat race by being frugal as well

  6. Marlene Wylde May 21, 2024 at 10:21 am - Reply

    I’m glad the criticism doesn’t bother you, and so many of us have learned so much from you, so your extreme frugality has a knock on effect. We are all in very different situations, but to consciously choose your lifestyle and stick to it is something to be very proud of. You aren’t missing out on anything that REALLY matters. Good for you.

    • ToniG May 22, 2024 at 9:51 am - Reply

      Thanks. I have had to develop a thick skin over the years! I am glad that the group and the website are helping people

  7. Moira Sutherland May 21, 2024 at 4:14 pm - Reply

    I agree with everything you said. We are 74 & 83 and have been retired for over twenty years at first, till hubby turned 65 our pension was low but it taught us to be even more frugal than we were, we paid for our girls schooling and have never regretted it. We could live well on our pension but we want to travel, so that is the reason for our frugal lifestyle. We are off to a midweek at the Lakes Haven resort, thanks for the info, we are going to Turkey end of June for two weeks all inclusive. We also have a trip booked in September, people think we are rich, as I said we are not poor, but by living frugally watching the pennies we can live a fantastic life. Carry on Toni living your life your way, you do not have the worry of debt and no longer have to go to work each day is yours to do what you wish and also being retired we do not have to worry about dressing up each day.

    • ToniG May 22, 2024 at 9:48 am - Reply

      That is so true. I found it hard to find something smart to wear the other day when I went somewhere that it was expected. Aww so glad that you have found a nice balance in your life and are enjoying special times away together.

  8. Karan Fowler May 21, 2024 at 6:36 pm - Reply

    Great blog Toni and totally agree with you. I have a small private pension but I am so rich in many other ways, I have time to do the things I want to do, I’m not stressed, I get out in nature whenever I want to, I eat much healthier and I’m kinder to the planet. Frugal and simple is definitely the way forward for me

    • ToniG May 22, 2024 at 9:46 am - Reply

      That is so true and I agree with you about rich meaning more than money. Thanks for sharing

  9. Sally Sanderson May 21, 2024 at 8:10 pm - Reply

    What a great post Toni. My husband is retiring at 62 next January as he has had enough. There is also no way he could keep going to 67 working shifts. He will get a decent enough pension for us to manage on so I am going to take early retirement at 54. I have small private pensions that I can access from 55 if I want to but they are next to nothing so won’t get anything substantial until 67. We have been living on the equivalent of his pension for some time so we could adjust to living off less & to allow us to save as much as possible. I love this group & have picked up so many tips. I also know that I can be even more frugal when I have more time, Time together is far more important than having lots of money & being tied to work.You’re an inspiration & have created a wonderful community.

    • ToniG May 22, 2024 at 9:45 am - Reply

      Time is worth so much more than money. Yes I lived on the amount of my pension before I left work to make sure I could. I also had things like the woodburning stove installed and got a better car before I retired as well as stocked the freezer with meat. It is amazing how little you can live on if you are prepared. Thanks for your kind comments and for sharing.

  10. Lesley Chater May 21, 2024 at 9:19 pm - Reply

    Lovely blog Toni, so much i agree with and myself am trying to achieve and your closing comment I will smile when someone sneers or comments because I know I’ve got it right and enjoying every last minute of how we live, we do have to plan and work at it but that’s how we win. X

    • ToniG May 22, 2024 at 9:43 am - Reply

      So glad that you have found a way to enjoy your life. Thanks for commenting

  11. Christine May 21, 2024 at 10:38 pm - Reply

    A lovely article. I accidentally became frugal because I hate waste, (especially plastic) so I make use of all I can and make things last. I love finding eco solutions too, and have found my costs have plummeted (from water bill to conker washing liquid) which meant I could take a career break (zero income) to take time for myself and family. Now back in work, I’ve got more balance and a chance to save again. I don’t know what the future looks like, but it’s more exciting than scary now!

    • ToniG May 22, 2024 at 9:41 am - Reply

      That is brilliant. I am so pleased for you. I hope that your future is rosy and filled with simple joy

  12. Dee May 22, 2024 at 10:16 am - Reply

    Life forced us to be frugal when our kids were small, and we have continued to follow that same path as they have grown. We have just paid off our mortgage, and we have a nice-sized pension pot and emergency savings for when the poop hits the fan. Although I’m still working, I have a job that gives me a fair amount of autonomy, and, most importantly, I have time to garden, which is my happy place! Thank you for our little community and for your generosity in sharing your frugal activities! I always learn something new!

    • ToniG May 23, 2024 at 6:40 am - Reply

      Aww thanks for your comments. Well done you for paying off the mortgage and ensuring that you have more time in your happy place. I am so pleased for you

  13. Bregeon Lucette May 22, 2024 at 4:02 pm - Reply

    bonjour j’espère que vous pourrez traduire ce commentaire ,je suis votre blog très régulièrement et je me reconnais parfaitement au travail mes collègues se moquaient de moi, elles sont parties à la retarite sans logement leur appartenant , elles ont découvert que l’augmentation des prix les impactaient plus que moi qui ai un jardin ,qui glane ,qui cuisine à partir de zéro ,qui réutilis et rafistole .
    Etre frugale est devenu un jeu et mes enfants en vieillissant découvrent les avantages d’une vie frugale .
    Merci pour tous vos trucs

    • ToniG May 23, 2024 at 6:32 am - Reply

      Aww thanks for your comments. My French is basic school girl level but I will try to reply and apologise in advance for all the mistakes!
      Merci pour votre partage et vos commentaires. C’est formidable que vous appreniez à vos enfants vos habitudes économes. Oui, trop de gens ne sont pas préparés et sont endettés et trouvent la vie difficile maintenant. Je suis heureux que vous aimiez le blog et merci de le suivre.

  14. Squid May 23, 2024 at 8:31 am - Reply

    Dear Toni,
    I am also French and I LOVE your blog SO MUCH!
    The people who are pointing their fingers should follow your sound advice – it’s the path to freedom.
    I have planted some Jerusalem artichokes in my yard and I’ve started sprouting some potatoes that were lying around in my fridge to plant them. I hope one day being able to do exactly as you are retire early. I still however have a lot to learn. Thank you so much for your help.
    Best regards

    • ToniG May 26, 2024 at 5:53 pm - Reply

      Aww thank you. I hope that you do get to retire early and find the freedom you desire. Thanks for commenting

  15. Sallyann Wright May 24, 2024 at 7:58 am - Reply

    Marvellous post Toni. Frugality is freedom. Leaving the rat race is freedom.
    Loving nature is freedom.
    A simple life is freedom.
    I feel so smug most of the time, like I’ve cracked the code to a beautiful way of living. But, just like you explain so clearly Tony, being frugal is a way of life that requires strength of personality and discipline. The rewards are plenty though. Thank you for all your encouraging insights.

    • ToniG May 26, 2024 at 5:52 pm - Reply

      Thank you for your kind words. Yes the code seems so simple when you know it!

  16. Georgie Peters May 24, 2024 at 1:37 pm - Reply

    Another great blog Toni.
    You are an inspiration, l love the way you encourage us all to be more frugal, to take care of the planet and it’s resources, every little helps not just ourselves but others too.

    • ToniG May 26, 2024 at 5:51 pm - Reply

      Thank you for your kind words

  17. Nicola Weatherall May 24, 2024 at 8:08 pm - Reply

    Lovely post Toni, I love being free x

    • ToniG May 26, 2024 at 5:50 pm - Reply

      It is the best feeling, isn’t it?

  18. Dayna May 25, 2024 at 7:29 am - Reply

    I really enjoyed this article but I am sorry it was written because of negative comments towards you. You should be proud of living a considered and sustainable life. If more people did this it would help our planet and our mental health services.

    • ToniG May 26, 2024 at 5:48 pm - Reply

      Thanks, but don’t worry, I don’t I actually see them as negative comments. I see them as people not understanding the attraction of a different way of life. I am very proud of how I turned my life around and continue to look after my mental health. Thanks for commenting

  19. Susan May 26, 2024 at 6:32 am - Reply

    I’ve only just caught up, what a great article Toni . I agree with every sentiment. Like you and others , I’ve worked very hard over the years. This was, in hindsight, to the detriment of my own health and well being . I’ve learned such a lot from your/ our frugal community , so thank you for setting it up. It’s normalised my take on life , as I’ve often felt a bit “ different “ . We’ve saved and done without and now thankfully we’re reaping the benefits. Time and freedom are our greatest gifts xx

    • ToniG May 26, 2024 at 5:44 pm - Reply

      Aww so glad that you have found contentment after all of your hard work. Yes a lot of us feel different as society encourages us to want more rather than less. Thanks for commenting

  20. Anne Redmond July 20, 2024 at 4:15 pm - Reply

    Thanks for this inspirational blog. You have a way of making being frugal exciting and I look forward to doing more myself. I have always been careful with money and make meals that will freeze and have again, but you make me want to do so much more. I have veg growing but nothing on your scale, but it’s a start. Also making the key lime tart tomorrow looks lovely. X

    • ToniG July 20, 2024 at 6:27 pm - Reply

      I think that you have to make being frugal a game, fun and a challenge or else it becomes a drudge which can make one become resentful. Every bit of food that you grow helps. I have o only grown more since I have retired and had to. We loved the key lime pie and are making it again next week. Thanks for sharing

  21. Helen Standbridge July 22, 2024 at 1:23 pm - Reply

    Lovely piece Toni. I didn’t exactly retire but was more retired by my company. Like you, for a while I felt lost and purposeless, especially I think because I didn’t go through choice. But it’s gradually dawned on me that it was the best way to go – I was literally paid to leave. If I’d clung on and just retired all I would have got was a thank you and good luck So I’ve dropped the guilt at not working in my early 60s and actively been embracing not working. On a different note, yesterday I’ve been experimenting with making herb butters for the freezer after reading your piece on preserving herbs. So far chive, sage and lemon verbena ( an experiment) Next thyme , basil and oregano and maybe some blends. Thanks for all your inspiration.

    • ToniG July 27, 2024 at 12:29 pm - Reply

      Brilliant. Well done with the butters and thanks for commenting

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