I sometimes write content for other frugal bloggers, and one was asking me to write some content for her about living a slow, frugal life. She was kind of wanting a blue print of how to do it. She asked for a kind of A to Z. At first I was “Yes! Some money to help with Christmas. Brilliant”. However, after thinking about it, I declined, and gave her my explanation. I wanted to be true to myself and the way I write, which wasn’t what she was asking for.
Yes, I could churn out a list of the kinds of habits that people who have this kind of lifestyle have, and I have written similar articles like that for myself in the past. However, I don’t want to write a “how to…” article because anyone who doesn’t do an aspect of it, may then feel a fraud or a failure. I don’t want to to set people up to feel like that. I believe that this kind of life is subjective, based on experience, the time that you have available, circumstances, skills, and the position that you find yourself in. That differs for us all.
Living a simple frugal life is organic, it is personal, and it happens over time. It is different for everyone, and it doesn’t have to be perfect. It has taken me years of growth, changes in opinion and mindset, intentional learning, gratitude, and acceptance to live a simple, frugal life, and I am still a work in progress. I hate it when people call out other people in comments (or blogs) for not being frugal, or wasting money. This lifestyle involves choice and freedom. I choose to spend little on food and bills in order to not have to be part of the rat race, and yet still have the money to have breaks away. That is my priority. Someone else’s priority might be to have their nails done each week to feel good, as life might have battered their self-esteem. This isn’t unnecessary spending (which is criticised by wagging fingers by some bloggers). Itt is choice, and that person’s necessity to live a happy life.
Simple and Frugal isn’t about deprivation. People might naturally have less as they have realised that material possessions don’t bring happiness, and that consumerism can be a trap. Less could also be through poverty. It doesn’t mean that you can’t splash out sometimes if you have the means to without getting into debt. For some living simply, or frugally is temporary, for other people it isn’t. It is a lifestyle, or something ingrained in their DNA
.
In maths lessons at school, I would learn formulas so that I could pass exams. They would be forgotten a few days later. It was only when I started living the maths, years later, (budgeting, measuring carpets, getting percentage discounts etc) that I started understanding it, and absorbing it. It is the same with simple, frugal living. What may seem boring to one person, is bliss, stress free and peaceful to another/ However, you often have to live those extremes to really realise that. What may seem extravagant to someone, may be good money management to another (eg buying good quality goods that will last). I had to buy cheap, through poverty as a single parent, before I realised that.
I believe that you have to feel this life style through mindset rather than follow a tick list. Sometimes it may be thrust on you through ill health, divorce, redundancy, or bad luck, and it may happen suddenly. This means we have to have compassion for ourselves as we will make financial mistakes, get frugal fatigue, yearn for some excitement some times, and have curve balls thrown at us. For many being frugal isn’t a choice which makes it even harder, and a pressure. An A to Z certainly wouldn’t show anyone that they learn from these mistakes and experiences, and that they are in fact really useful. It would provide the same as a self-help book. I used to read lots of them and had a book case full. Not one of them changed my behaviour until my circumstances altered, and I put my mind and energy in to it.
I am not sure where I am going with this, except to remind people that this simple, frugal life is a journey. There are no right and wrongs, and there is no need to feel inadequate if someone is further along the path to you. None of us are experts, and tweak things every year. You will find what works for you in time. If you are struggling at the moment and worried about the future, you will find new, creative ways to, not just survive, but to thrive. My habits have changed so much over the last 10 years. I thought that I was really frugal in 2015, but I have learned so many skills, and have changed my mindset so much. My intention was to last 2 years on my pension and then I expected that I would have to go back to work. Ten years later and I am still enjoying my simple, frugal life. There is still so much simple joy out there, even if it doesn’t always feel like it at the moment. You just have to be mindful, live in the moment, and be grateful for what you already have. You have got this.
Bad health is how my frugal journey started. Thanks for the post. I hadn’t thought of being frugal as a journey before.
I’ve adapted pretty well to a restricted income and was already part way there, without realising. Eg I’ve been Vegetarian for most of my life, so living on beans and rice comes naturally. But it’s nice to be reminded about how to look at things. Thanks, Toni.
No worries. Although poor health triggered my last frugal journey, I do feel that it is a positive thing as I would be still on the hamster wheel now. So glad that you have found it easy to adapt. Every day is a school day and I love learning frugal things that I hadn’t thought of. Thanks for sharing
Having had money problems and debt in the past, I learnt from my mistakes and have been debt free for many, many years now. That was the first step on my frugal mindset. Following forums and learning new ways to from the MoneySavingExpert site helped me enormously and helped settle me into my new way of life. Ill health brought everything to a head and having retired a year ago, was the bigger leap into frugality as I now draw a pension much, much smaller than my previous wage BUT, with it, I am now no longer part of the rat race, as I carefully budget for daily expenses, thus allowing me to have the treats that bring joy. Taking pleasure in turning over to fall back asleep, should I awake early in the morning and knowing I have nowhere to go. Having a nightie day, like today ….because I can (and also because I was feeling very tired, sore and achey). Eating simple food where I can and if possible baking our sweet treats rather than buying from shops so that I know the ingredients inside. Being able to set my own agenda and not being bound to a timetable and generally going at my own pace, which at this time of year is slow. I too, am far happier now than having to pop on a face for work. Time alone to count my blessings is always a good reminder of how happy this stage of my life is, despite having less money coming in now than ever. As I like to say to folk, you do you and I’ll do me. Thanks again Toni for such thoughtful words.
Aww thanks for sharing. I can so empathise with a lot of what you say.
Another great article. You are totally right that simple frugal living is a journey and totally personal. I stopped working exactly a year ago because I was completely burnt out. I am lucky enough not to have to go back to work. This has mostly been possible due to being debt free and working to be more frugal.
I totally agree. Being totally free of debt really provides more choice. I feel so lucky to be in my position too, though I did go without holidays and luxuries in my younger days to get here. Thanks for sharing