Finding Freedom in my latter life

Freedom is one of my most important values. The freedom to be me. It took me a long time to achieve it. At last I am taking the opportunity to live my life the way I want to live it. I am able prioritise what is important to me, and to not have to live up to other people’s expectations. Usually these are different to mine. Making my own choices in the latter part of my life is probably the only time that I have felt freedom since being a child.

Early retirement gave me that opportunity. Paying off my debts, and saving, meant that I could stick two fingers up at the rat race, and the people who thought that they could control me through money and status. It felt so good when I saw the look of amazement and confusion as I waved goodbye. I knew I could live without the money. I had done it over the last 6 years whilst I saved. “You’ll be back,” they sneered. “We give you a year”. Here I am still thriving nearly 11 years later. Those same people are still working, or have been discarded by the organisation that they showed such loyalty to.

I know I am not really free, but probably the nearest that I will get to freedom in the UK. Democracy is in decline. My generation, generally, had more freedom than younger people have today. I don’t think that we appreciated it at the time. It was before the times of facial recognition, phones tracking our movements, or listening into our conversations. ( It is no coincidence that we mention something in conversation and suddenly receive adverts or reels about it on our time line).

No one filmed me making my mistakes as a teenager. I could roam the fields and forests all day, waved off with a salmon paste sandwich, and a penguin biscuit. As long as I was back before it got dark, my parents were happy. Those fields where I built dens are now concrete housing estates. The trees I climbed, replaced by a dual carriage way.

As I grew older, I realised that I wasn’t free to do anything I wanted. Although an excellent footballer, I couldn’t play in the school team like my male friends. Needlework was compulsary for me rather than the metal work I hankered for. At 14 I was really lucky that my year was the first year that girls could do woodwork. In the Navy I could only play a supportive role to my male counterparts. I was actually disciplined and punished for showing traits that were admired in my male colleagues. How dare I be assertive, ambitious, competitive, and intelligent?

Thankfully, legislation was changing. On paper women had equal rights, but opinion was harder to change. More than 20 years after the Sex Discrimination act was passed, I had to threaten a boss using the law as women were discriminated against in my place of work. Only 1 woman was allowed to be on duty in a unit for ‘safety’ reasons. This restricted women getting over time or sleep ins. Old men, and cowards who had left me alone dealing with violent incidents whilst they locked themselves in the office, could work as many hours as they wanted. Of course I was a trouble causer, one of those feminists, and a male hater for making such a fuss. Young women today don’t realise the struggle previous generations went through to get equal pay and equal opportunities now, though the system still isn’t fair for many reasons, including bias.

One equality legislation they did change was to make pensionable age equal. I agree with this in principle, but lots of women had little notice to make arrangements, or weren’t even aware of the changes. This has meant my state pension is being paid 7 years after I expected. I think that is too late for men and women, as many won’t make it, including my younger brother who died 2 years ago.

I didn’t intend to wait to retire until they decided it was the  appropriate age (which kept changing). Taking hold of my finances, and living a frugal life, enabled me to retire early and gave me the freedom I had craved. I feel like that child again and I am free to be me. No more dressing to please others. Not one person can tell me how to behave, what time I have to do anything, or when I need to be there. No one, except myself, to say I can’t, or to hold me back. I can spend my precious time supporting family, doing things I enjoy, and living the way I want to live my life.

Fear stops so many of us from taking that leap to live the life we desire. We are trapped in the fear of lack, fear of failure, fear of losing status, fear of losing identity, fear of being bored. I had a last minute wobble, but I am so glad that I didn’t listen to that devil on my shoulder telling me it wouldn’t work out. At the time I had no one to to fall back on.

I have never fitted in to societal norms. Now I can be a rebel without getting into trouble. Each time I plant a garden, forage, cook from scratch, refuse to use a supermarket, and don’t comply (without breaking the law), I am exercising my freedom. My freedom to live my life the way I choose. Loosening societal control has been my aim. I chose not to compete, not to be cajoled or be  blackmailed, not to pay the high prices, not to eat the poisoned food, not to have a TV licence, not to comply unless I absolutely have no choice. It has felt like a weight lifting. Frugality brings freedom of choice. Building old fashioned skills brings independence from the system. I might have been called stroppy, a rebel, a trouble causer, or even more lately a conspiracy theorist, but I will always place the highest value on freedom. Too many people fought too hard for us to get it, myself included. Do you feel free?