It took me a long time to learn to be gentle with myself when I was feeling down. I felt like a failure, and guilty. I am writing this today for a friend in the hope that she will read it. The thing that I know now is that you mustn’t beat yourself up if you feel in a slump or can’t cope. Every one goes through these times and so we need to show ourselves the same compassion that we would to other people. I now give myself permission to be the best that I can in that moment. It might not be as good as I want it to be, or that other’s expect me to be, but it is the best I can do right then.
I talk kindly to myself as I would to a friend as criticism only makes me feel worse and demotivates me. Criticising parents used to send me into a spiral. Now is the time that I invest time in myself with self care. This might be a walk in nature, a meditation, journaling, watching a feel good film, a relaxing soak in the bath, or something like feeding myself nutritious food. I spoil myself with positive things that will help my mind and body heal and stay away from things that will plunge my mood further like junk food, or well meaning people. If you are feeling like this, find what makes you feel lighter hearted and relaxed. We all need a breather, a pause and time to regenerate. We all need time to replenish ourselves.
Please don’t spread yourself too thinly. Let someone else juggle the balls, or handle the reins for a bit. It is your turn to say “no,” without needing to make excuses or feel guilty. It is your turn to care about yourself as kindly as you care for others. Have some quiet time, find some time to do what you love to do, and enjoy the moment. Your needs are important too.
Sleep if you want to in the middle of the day, and listen to what your body needs. The world isn’t going to stop turning because you are taking some time out. You don’t need to feel guilty for putting yourself first. Let go of the things you can’t control and go with the flow. It is ok to not be in control for a bit.
You are important. You are unique. You are beautiful. You are worthy. Admire yourself and pick yourself up as gently as you would a precious gem. You are strong, and with some self love and self care, you will shine again soon, but for now you are resting. This feeling is temporary and you will find yourself again. Big hug
Well said Toni, we have to do what is right for us x
Thanks
I heard and felt every word. It can be so,so hard. I never thought I would struggle to make people laugh but there’s not much funny to spare. I watch a 5 minute you tube of Shirley Bassey with Freddie Starr. It gives me my belly laugh for the day. There’s not much that I’m able to do currently so I read…182 days in a row…it’s my challenge . Tomorrow may be lovely.
Bless you. You always make me laugh. Take care and sending hugs. You are going to be so intelligent with all that reading!
Valuable information and advice. Thank you Toni 🕊️
No worries. Thanks
Thank you, much needed today xx
Aww bless you. I hope that tomorrow is a better day x
I needed to hear this. Thank you x
Sending hugs x
That was lovely thanks
Thank you
Excellent advice!! Thank you so much!
No worries. It is good to remind myself sometimes as well. Thanks for commenting
I love this Toni. I’m not feeling so well right now so I needed to read this. Thank you. 😊
No worries. I hope that you feel better soon
A very compassionate message Toni. Thanks.
No worries. Thanks for commenting
Such good advice. Thank you xx
No worries. Thanks for the kind feedback
Really needed to read this right now. Thankyou ❤️
No worries. Sending hugs
Another great read and so very true. I’ve definitely learnt from this group and especially you Toni how important ME time is and so important to look after ourselves. Big hugs thanks for sharing with us all. X
Aww so glad that you are in the group as I learn things from you too. Thanks for your kind words
Fantastic words Toni as always. We must all read this and take care of ourselves xx
Aww that is kind of you to say. I agree. Thanks for your feedback
Words spoken with insight and compassion, how truthful they are. I do feel that as women we tend to feel we should do it all but that is so not true. No one ever died from a bit of dust and we should pop the mask on ourselves and replenish our own tanks first. Thankyou for the kind reminder.
Absolutely. It is usually the woman that is criticised if the house is dirty, too! It is a hard lesson to learn until you realise that nothing needs to be perfect and that most other people are feeling the same as you. Thanks for your kind comments
Great post toni,your so right you have to say no sometimes ,a thing I struggled at work saying no and still do my ,if learnt as I’m getting older time is such a precious thing,my self care days off quiet time at home with dogs,cooking healthy meals,afternoon naps reading just peace and quiet priceless
It is priceless. I think that it gets easier to say “no” as we get older and practice, and we appreciate things differently. Thanks for sharing