Simple living isn’t a place to move to

For a long time, I thought simple living meant leaving. Leaving the noise, the pressure, the constant feeling of being behind. I imagined in my dreams a small cabin somewhere quiet, maybe a bit of land, fewer bills, fewer people, fewer demands. In my head, simplicity lived somewhere else. Somewhere I had to move to. It was cleaner, slower, more intentional.

I believed that when I got there that life would finally feel more manageable. However, the truth is, you don’t arrive at a simple life just by changing your address.

The dream we are sold

There’s a certain image of simple living that’s easy to fall in love with. It is of open space, fresh air, and a slower pace of life. We grow our own food, and have our day shaped by nature, rather than notifications, emails, and the clock.

There’s nothing wrong with that life. For some people, it’s exactly right. However, some attain that life but feel incomplete. What we don’t see in that picture is everything that comes with it. It is really hard work and a lot of responsibility to have land and live a self sufficient life. There is still financial pressure, but just in a different form. It can also be very isolating and lonely.

More importantly, the person who moved there is the same and brought their baggage with them. I believe that living a simple life is more about mindset than location.

Often they take the same expectations to chase ‘better’, similar habits, stress, and a tendency to over think. You can change your environment completely and still feel overwhelmed in it. I saw it happen to a friend who got the dream.

What Actually Changed Things

I didn’t move to the countryside. I didn’t buy land. My life didn’t suddenly get quieter on the outside. What changed was much less visible, slower, and much more uncomfortable. I started paying attention to how I was living, not where. This started before I retired. About 6 or 7 years before.

I noticed how often I said “yes” when I meant “no”. How much time I spent thinking about things that didn’t matter. Also, how easily I filled empty space with shopping, watching telly, and eating,  just because I was bored. I realised that my life felt complicated not because of where I lived, but because of how I was moving through it. That is when things started to shift.

What Simple Living Actually Looks Like

It was not a dramatic transformation. It was a series of small, often unremarkable choices and intentions that built the foundations. I started saying “no” to plans I didn’t have the energy for. In the past I put everyone else before myself. I found nature locally and started the habit of regular walks in nearby green spaces. I stopped trying to be perfect and started to eat simple meals, and grow salad in tubs. I stopped answering the phone when it was my relaxation time at home, and wasn’t on call to my staff permanently, as they expected.

My image changed. My clothing was more relaxed. I was more ‘me’.  I dressed in a way I felt more at home with, rather than as expected for a woman reaching 50. Hoodies and jeans were back in my drawer, despite being told I was too old for them. I became less ashamed that my home was functional rather than impressive. Consumerism no longer had a hold over me as I stopped trying to impress people who didn’t really care about me, and who I didn’t respect. Outings would be simple and free rather than be the fashionable place to be seen or boast about.

None of these things required land, or a big move, or a completely different life. They require awareness. And sometimes, a bit of honesty.

The Trap of Aesthetic Simplicity

There’s another layer to this that’s easy to miss. Simple living has become something we can buy into. Minimalist homes filled with expensive “essentials.”
Carefully curated routines that look calm but feel rigid.
A quiet pressure to do simplicity perfectly. It starts to look less like freedom and more like another standard to live up to.

Real simplicity isn’t aesthetic. My garden sometimes looks like Steptoe’s yard with all my tubs and recycled items that I grow food in. My home doesn’t always look perfect, in fact it never does 😁.  Life is also not always interesting. Sometimes it’s repetitive, and can even be a bit boring. However having a change in mindset means that we look for the awe in ordinary. We are grateful for what we have, and notice the wonder around us. I lived in this area over 20 years before I noticed the apple trees, wild garlic and blue bell woods, or the Elderflower bushes which are all within a mile of my house.

When your life is simple, you’re not constantly trying to optimise it, upgrade it, or turn it into something else. You’re just living it, exploring it, and making the most of it.

Why This Matters

If simple living is something you have to move across the country to achieve, most people will never get there. It stays distant. Conditional. Something for “one day.” However, if your mindset is changed, it shapes your choices, your boundaries, your perspective. Simple living then becomes available right then, wherever you are. Your life might not look particularly simple from the outside, especially if you are still working and living in the suburbs. People didn’t noticed until I retired, but my life had become more and more simple over the years before that, as I shed habits, and built new ones. Internally, it felt very different.

So my advice to you is not to wait  for the perfect conditions. Start paying attention to what’s adding noise and stress to your life now, and what isn’t.

A Different Kind of Question

Instead of asking yourself where you need to escape to in order to find simplity, ask what you can let go of right where you are. More often than not, it’s not your location making life feel complicated. It’s the pace you’re keeping, or the expectations that you are carrying. Maybe it is the habits you haven’t questioned yet. All of those are things you can change without going anywhere at all. Even if you still want to move one day, your simple life is more likely to work if you have sorted out those things first.

Simple living isn’t out there waiting for you. It’s built, quietly, in the life you already have. None of these things require lots of land, are a big move, or a completely different life. They require awareness, and sometimes, a bit of honesty. I no longer think about the small holding I dreamed about 15 years ago, and nearly moved to Bulgaria to buy.  At my age it would probably be too much hard work for me now. Here in my home I can still live that lifestyle and grow my own food, forage, preserve, avoid the supermarket, and find peace in the countryside. The bonus is that I haven’t had to move away from family and friends to do it. I have at last found simple contentment in my simple, frugal, life.

Other blogs

The fight to keep life simple

Learning to live a simple frugal life through experience

Finding a simple life

My intentional, simple life